So..............Here I go again, embarking on another job......really?

I am going to pose a question to the universe......and I think I ask the question, not just for me, but for all of us out there, like me, who want to know.......

Let's see....I have loved, and (sadly) I have hated.....mostly, though, NOT a hater. I have birthed three children, raised six children, and lost two children. I have grown food, shopped for food, cooked food. I have kept a home and a business, and even both at the same time. I have cut firewood for myself, and built a fire from scratch. I have even broken furniture to keep the fire going in lean times when the firewood ran out. I have installed a transmission in a mid sized car, bled the brakes on at least three others, and changed a tire. I have been to school, been to college (some) and taught school. I have made my own clothes, made my own bread, and even knit my own shoes. I have driven halfway across the country by myself..............driven my family halfway across the country, and walked for miles to get where I needed to go.

I have taken my own stitches out, applied first aid to family and friends, and on an occasion or two, strangers. I have pulled teeth, ticks, and a few other things. I have built my own pergola, dug my own firepit, and fashioned a fake fireplace.

I can draw pictures, sing songs and write poetry. I can be simple as soap, and go back to the roots that I grew from, making grits, and beans and biscuits and red eye gravy, or I can be a savvy, talking about organics and drinking soy.

I have milked cows, gathered eggs, and caught a big mouth bass. I have painted and hammered, and dovetailed and spackled. I have quilted and tatted and mended. I have made pottery and felted vessels, and art from bits of this and that.

I have entertained myself, my children and my husband, and I have counseled a few others.

I have used a computer, a sewing machine and a microwave, along with my stove, my washer, my dryer. I can take pictures,.good pictures..............of babies and newlyweds, and families, and mostly I am capturing the moments in life worth remembering.

I have grown large crops of flowers, and once forced 100 rosebushes from bare root to bloom in about 3 months. I have made a greenhouse dark enough to turn pointsettias red.....

I have nursed three babies, made my own baby food, and discovered how to diaper with whatever was on hand. I have sat by the bed of the sick all night long, crying and praying and hoping for good news with the morning light.

I have helped deliver a calf, bottle fed a puppy, and fed a snake.

I have doctored myself through migraines, toothaches, and an almost severed toe. I have studied herbs and vitamins and minerals, and can prepare a tonic to heal whatever ails you..or if not heal, to bring you relief and comfort. I have massaged sore muscles, and rubbed insomnia right out of people's heads. I have made my own soap, my own candles, my own scrub.....I have made hats and purses and gloves and bags. I have made curtains and quilts and other comforts of home.

I have read the Illiad, the Odyssey, and the Bible and the Ya-ya Sisterhood. I have learned CPR and first aid and inventory control. I can look at a rug and tell you if it is from Indian, from China or Iran, and tell you how many knots are in it. I can clean your rug, removing chocolate, or blood and dog poo, and remain confidential while doing so.

I can manage a staff of 12 or work independently. I listen to people and hear them and offer my concern.

I can design a newsletter, a sign or even a living room, using sticks for accessories, and dried flowers for decor. I have cleaned up baby puke, baby poop and baby toys. I have washed down all manner of people and things, and cleaned the world. (though, if I am being honest, cleaning is NOT really my bag)

I have spoken words that needed to be spoken, and bit my tongue to keep from saying the wrong thing at the wrong time..........I have been an advocate for the weak and the powerless, for the sick and the tired, and for a whole rack of children. I have supported my family, and bought their clothes and their shoes and their food.

I have done my own "while you were out", my own "extreme home makeover", and my own "biggest loser", (sadly I was NOT the biggest loser....at least not in weight)

I have composed songs, written recipes, and invented knitting patterns.

I have watered, and pruned and planted and harvested, and even made ficus trees thrive in dark corners.

I have been a horticulturist, an interior landscaper, a childcare provider, a photographer and a photo lab manager. I have been a teacher and an artist and I have even been a factory worker, manufacturing venetian blinds back in 1979....

I have survived all manner of bad times, including poverty, homelessness, a suicide attempt of a loved one , a runaway, alcohol and drug abuse by some of the people I love most in the world.....I have survived two miscarriages, three cesearean sections, a gallbladder removal and a tubal reanastimosis.....I have lost many teeth and have come close to losing my mind...(or at least it felt like it). I have lost a few people in my life to betrayal, or at least one that I can think of. I have lost my mother...MY MOTHER....that searing pain that never totally goes away, and I have lost my first love....I have lost cousins and friends and in-laws. At times, I have felt that I lost me. I have weathered many storms, including real ones, like tornados and hurricanes and blizzards, and managed to thrive despite them.

I am strong, and clever and creative. I am reliable, hard working and honest. I can think on my feet and ponder solutions over a long period of time if need be. I am good in a crisis and almost always ready with a laugh.

And so now, I ask the question......Why am I worthless to this society?

A friend told me the other day about his company.....his company that pays new hires 4o thousand dollars a year, just to hire them, just to keep them around and ready, for the days when the economy comes back. Some of them even go to school on company time, since there is nothing else to do... He said they don't like to hire people my age.......

Really? I mean,...............really?????

So....I can get a job that pays 12 dollars an hour....maybe even 15.....I can be treated like I am dull and half witted and have to be told what to do and how to do it, and THAT is in a discount store....is that what I'm worth......can't someone take my hand and see inside this gray hair and weathered face and say, "I have been looking for someone just like you, with your wisdom and wit, for this job...." I'll take it.....and I'll take it for 10......and thank you for the dignity you give me....