Weekend Warrior

I want to be....................I DESPERATELY want to be..................I want to come home on Friday night, after working hard all week, and I want to be able to tear into everything that I have missed all week.

I want to get into my garage...LITERALLY! I want to be able to get into it, and use it. This means I must first clear a path,..................then make my way into it, toss a lot of nothing into trash bags for the garbage man, stack up lots of other nothings, in case I ever *need* them...(I am sure you other pack rats out there know what I mean.), and move the remaining *important* things around so that they are in a position to be useful to me. Somewhere in the wild ramblings of my mind, this space is going to be my studio....I will knit here, paint here, sew here, sculpt here, maybe even swim here..............(it has been done before, thank you Mr. Page)

The thing is, I never manage to make my way here to be able to do the clean-up.....

And why???

Because I am so busy trying to carve out some time for myself, that I don't have time to carve out some time AND some space for myself.

Today my idea was to wash clothes,..............(especially good idea since I am now wearing hubby's boxers since my undies are all in a large wicker basket waiting to be laundered).Did I get that done?

Nope!

My next idea for today was to get out the sewing machine, and get out some fabrics and make Lindsey and I some awesome skirts to wear now that the snow has finally gone and the sun is shining. You know what I realized? I am really not a sewing kind of girl..............oh, yes, I can make do, and actually, I did make one skirt for Lindsey, out of some frilly, flow-y, sparkly lavender chiffon -like fabric, but truthfully? It was like pulling teeth.....................WELL ROOTED TEETH!....................I now have a sewing machine, several spools of thread, scissors, 6 or 7 stacks of fabric and2 pairs of glasses lying on the dining room table.....(where earlier there was a simply, understated fruit bowl) I would say, I have now made more work for myself.....and EVEN less time tomorrow for anything else, since I have now created a dining room mess to be cleaned up.

I also wanted to clean off my front porch, dress it up a bit for spring..............make a few pillows for the porch swing, hang a star lantern, perhaps even clean out the collections of boxed junk hiding under a covered table out there..............Nope! didn't happen!

So what did I do today? I watched my grandbaby learn to sort shapes and colors into a Sesame Street learning toy.......and I got the unspeakable joy of hearing him say, "melmo,....melmo", over and over again..................and to this Nana, that was the best sound ever. I managed to do something very, VERY difficult that I thought I never would be able to do on circular needles...(the jury will remain out on this particular project for a few more days)...........But mostly, I used my most precious commodity,,....my time,..............lamenting how little time there is, and little time I have, and how MUCH time I need..........

What a waste of a perfectly good Saturday. So tonight, as I ease my troubled conscience by blogging, I am telling myself that "Tomorrow I WILL get something done...........tomorrow I WILL make up for the wasted time today....." Tomorrow I will do laundry, at least one load so I can wear girl panties to work on Monday, I will get into the garage, at least long enough to put the dining room fabric away,......tomorrow, I will go to the front porch...I will. I will go out there, look at how much needs doing, and I will turn around and walk back inside.

I will go into my backyard and feel defeated by the weeds taking over my border.....I will lie in my hammock *planning* my garden, and when tomorrow night rolls around, I will be lamenting my lack of accomplishment out there, as I am lamenting my lack of accomplishment in here tonight................

And when Sunday night turns into Monday morning, I will already be planning.................Next weekend, I will be a weekend warrior...........I will work in the garden, clean my garage, sew some skirts,walk the dog, do the laundry, bake a cake, and maybe even lie in the hammock reveling in my successes.