Resolve? Me?

Here it is...................that grand old dame of days. The day to resolve to better ourselves, to get thinner, smarter, more sober, less selfish, more religious......I think I will resolve to get dressed every day...it seems I have found myself the last few days of 2009 not dressing (though I did change into a clean nightgown yesterday in honor of the new years eve festivities here at home). Yes, yes,..........I do dress when I am going to work. But it is getting harder and harder to find something that does not feel like it is squeezing the very life out of me. So, yes, I guess, in order to keep one resolution, I will have to work on another one.......the 'thinner" me resolution....Okay, so I have been resolving that since God was a child....or at the very least since I was a child. I am going to try SSSOOOOOOOOOOOO hard this time.Now I am guessing I have to resolve to be more religious, because I know without God and His help, those twinkies will be calling, calling, c-a-l-l-i-n-g my name.....
Why? Why, I want to know do some of us struggle and struggle with food? You know it and I know it. There are women out there who eat what they want when they want it and never, ever gain an ounce...BITCHES! How did I get cursed with these genes?
Someone once said that nothing tastes as good as thin feels..................All I am saying is THAT person either had no taste buds or that I have never been thin. I cannot imagine that thin feels THAT good. But yes, yet again I will try. I must. I feel like I am stretching the seams of my own body, and occasionally I almost think I hear the ripping of fabric....
A thinner me means no more sleep machine (maybe one day),.....................it means no more aching legs ALL OF THE TIME.....it means being comfortable in summer in something other than a tent dress, and it means feeling like a woman once again, instead of this amorphous, asexual being I have become....(Anyone remember "Pat" from SNL?"
So there it is folks....On january 1, 2010 I am promising myself that I will spend more time with God who will help me lose weight so that I will want to get dressed and go somewhere..................
Uh-oh.....................go somewhere????????????? Not another resolution!