Here we go.....AGAIN!
I remember when I was about 20, or even 15, thinking ," When the year 2000 arrives I will be OLD" And here I am this afternoon on the precipice of 2015, as I work, knit, cook, eat, play, and love, I realize that life is not much different.
Somehow, as a younger person, I pictured all of us living in some Jetson-like world. By this time, I thought we would all be flying in our personal spaceships to work and to visit friends. I supposed I had a vision that at the very least, I would be living in a glass house or something.
And yet, here I am....................living in my comfortable old house, doing the same old comfortable things with the same old comfortable people. And maybe I am old, but it occurs to me, "If you don't feel like you are old, ARE YOU OLD?" Kind of like the old, "If a tree falls in the forest.................."
So I am taking a reality check this afternoon...you know, asking myself some questions, trying to decide where I fall in the young-old continuum.
1. Am I wearing all polyester pants with elastic waistbands and big pockets that hold wadded up tissues and bent bobby pins. NO....check
2. Is my hair grey and in the shape of a helmet? Yes AND no. Yes to gray, but long and luscious and filled with blonde and silver pieces to catch the light. It is the hair of a much younger woman who has earned every single gray through work and worry and love. Helmet shaped? Never,......(well, okay, close, when I wear it in a bun so long on holidays that it begins to dreadlock) check
3. Can I use "kidspeak"? Can I understand it? I CAN understand it, (for the most part), but speak it?????? Hmmmmmmmmmm.....Well, let's see..."She is off the hook." (or is it) "She is off the chain."...."She is A-OK" Okay, okay...No, I cannot speak the language either.
4. Do I try and engage in conversations with young people? Do they appear to wander off frequently and disengage from said conversations? Yes, and YES! Egads! I AM OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. Am I driving a Buick?
6. Do I carry butterscotch hard candies in my purse?
7. Am I fresh, relevant, informed?
So in review, I am truly realizing that "old" is not an accurate representation of me....and maybe not most of us. I am wise and I am witty. I am cautious and I am impulsive, impetuous. I am open minded, and I am close minded,.................mostly because I refuse to go back in time, I refuse to give up rights hard earned by my friends, and parents and grandparents..I refuse to allow my grandchildren and their grandchildren to go back to a day where they are valued only if they are a white heterosexual male who makes alot of money.
I am trying DAILY to live a life of kindness and patience and compassion. A life of tolerance and standing up for what I believe in, for fighting for the underdog, and practicing gratitude for the many blessings I have been given.
So, as I look forward to this new year, I WILL work on accepting myself as, well,....."older".
